Vikings.

I joined Eharmony as I previously mentioned. It turns out, love is even more unattainable on-line. For me at least. They hooked me with all that crap about Tina and Greg and how glad they are that they found each other on line. It sounded pretty easy. You upload some pictures, say a couple things about yourself, and voila, some attractive knight in shinning armor reads your profile and decides he can’t live without you. This is exactly how everything happened at first.

I got matched with some guy named Veranthros. I thought "well that's an odd name..." but I decided to view his profile anyway. A couple days later he viewed mine, so I sent him a message. 

"Hi! I was reading your profile and you seem like a super nice guy!"

His response: 

Hi Chelsy,

Thank you for the compliment, that was very sweet of you:) You seem to be a very nice girl as well, genuine and very intelligent;and, of course you are beautiful.The fact that you are a reader and writer says a lot about who you are...I'm sure you are very passionate,imaginative, and creative in nature.Like you I am a hopeless romantic,hence that is why I am still single (seems hard to find a fairy tale today). I was wondering why you would find interest in someone my age,but you being mature would make sense of that ;) Well feel free to ask me anything that you want, I wont hold back if you promise me you wont...I look forward to hearing back from you.

Dio....my real name (Veranthros is my viking name I made up when I was like 15, and it has just sort of stuck with me:)

So he seems like a super awesome guy so far, right? I was entranced. You might be wondering what he looks like. Well since words can't describe how gorgeous he is, I'll include a picture for your viewing pleasure. 

Gorgeous, right? and look at his arms....

Okay. Enough. 

Back on track. Dio. 

We went back and forth for a while. We started asking and answering questions. He asked about my exes, I asked about his. He asked about my family which tends to be a big mess, but I told him everything. He was super understanding about everything. When he asked about my ex boyfriends, I shared this story with him:

 The most serious relationship I was in lasted about four months... not very long- I know. It ended because he was emotionally abusive. He had me convinced that I was some crazy person and the only one who could ever love me was him. One day he told me his mom gave him money to take me out to dinner. When I asked where we were going he said he wasn't going to take me out. When I asked why he said, "Why would I pay someone to make you fatter?" No joke. Then one day he said, "You know, Chelsy, if you want to lose weight, all you have to do is be bulimic. Lots of girls lose weight that way. I'm not self-conscious about the way I look- I'm curvy and I'm fine with that, but evidently he had a problem with it. haha Yet through all of this I stayed with him because any time I thought about leaving him, he would tell me he loved me or take me on a nice date. I thought I loved him too. It finally got to the point where I couldn’t handle how badly I felt all the time. I started talking to a good friend and he told me I needed to break up with my boyfriend. I did some praying and serious soul searching and finally worked up the courage to break up with him. When I told him, he proposed to me. You know what he said? "Don't ask me how, but somehow I've been able to look past all your weird quirks and even though people say you aren't pretty enough for me, I'm willing to marry you. I guess I love you for some reason. At least I know you'll never cheat on me." I got out of the car and never looked back. And I've never been better. 

I ended the message by asking if he was sure he liked me.

He responded perfectly of course.

Don't feel bad about you weight Chelsy, you are gorgeous...in every way, shape, and form;I just know that you have a very majestic beauty, that not many girls have out there, most beauty is pretty routine (and, I'm not just floating your fancy);so, never stop realizing that. Am I attracted to the "very big" girl...no;but, you are not very big and I know the little weight you retain, is from a stress in your life, and can be reversed. I will end this message by telling you..."yes,I'm sure I like you" :D Are you sure you like me?

He continued to talk to me. He told me he was out of town on a business trip, but that he couldn't wait to get home so that he could meet me in person. I was on cloud nine. I checked my e-maiil like every three seconds for his replies. I showed everyone at work his picture and when they asked if he was my boyfriend, I would say, "Not yet, but he will be soon!" I genuinely thought he would be. But, unfortunately, I am unlucky in love. So that didn't exactly turn out.

It was a week before I heard from him again. I was convinced he was at the bottom of the ocean somewhere and that he had died tragically. Trying not to seem desperate or clingy, I sent him a short message to remind him I was still alive and checking to see if he was. 

I never got a reply. I refuse to believe that he could just stop talking to me like that, so I convinced myself that he had just died. I was terribly depressed for a couple of days. Here was the great guy that was so perfect, and my craziness scared him away. It was unfortunate, But I've learned that anyone that goes by a viking name is weird and not worth it. Or at least that's what I say to make myself feel better.

The moral of this story? Don't join an on-line dating sight because there are no prince charmings on there and the ones that are die tragically in fishing accidents. :)