Jack

Another Eharmony failure. This was the date I was so excited about. First of all, let me just tell you what went into getting ready for this date. This was the process. As soon as I got out of work, I raced home to begin my primping process.
1. Biore nose strip. I definitely forgot how painful those things are. But worth it. No more blackheads!!
2. Juniper mint face mask.
3. Shaved legs. (Haven't done that in a while.)
4. Clean, wet hair.
5. Clean, dry hair.
6. Straightened hair.
7. Teased hair.
8. Styled hair.
9. Make up.
10. New clothes.
11. Painted nails
12. Perfume.
13. Frantic pacing in front of the front door waiting for him to show up.

So after three hours of getting ready, I was finally ready to go. I worked really hard to get everything perfect and I was feeling pretty confident. I was really excited and couldn't wait to meet him. He was like twenty minutes late which usually isn't a big deal. But he made me angry, so it just adds to his lameness.

He came to the door and I was really impressed with how gentlemanly he was the majority of the evening. He opened all of the doors for me and always allowed me to walk in a room first. He was polite and I appreciated that.

We got in his car and started driving. He stopped in the middle of the road and asked where I wanted to go for dinner. I HATE making decisions. I would much rather have someone plan it out and know right where we're going than give me a choice. But he was trying to be nice and get my opinion I suppose, so that's nice.

I decided on Pei Wei after asking him what places he liked. So we set off on our way for the restaurant. He literally drove 30 miles an hour the whole way there. 30 miles... That's fifteen under the speed limit. Explain how that makes any sense. When we finally  made it there and ordered our food, we sat down and started talking. He was really nice and I could tell he was incredibly intelligent. Oh... did I mention he's 29 and a professor at a college? Anyway, he asked me some really personal questions about my family and what not and I remember thinking to myself- this is a good sign. He seems genuinely interested in my life. After answering and asking some more questions, he said, I'm going to teach you a little bit about what I teach. and then he started getting super philosophical on me. I'm a relatively intelligent person, but he was asking things that no one can just answer right off the at. The point that he was trying to make was that I am the only person in this entire world that can influence myself. No one else can come into my life and disrupt it without my consent. Which did and didn't make sense.

Then he asked me if he could be honest with me. I told him yes. He looked down for a second. He looked back up and started in about what a special girl I am blah blah blah... I was expecting him to ask me to go on more dates with him. That's not at all what he wanted to say . He said, "I'm in a fairly serious relationship with this other girl. I wanted to go on this date with you because I didn't want to waste your time." How does that make any sense? "I'm probably going to be getting engaged soon to be honest with you. Now Chelsy, you're a wonderful girl and you have so much potential. But you need to lose some weight. No one is ever going to be able to see all that potential until you gain self control. I've been thinking about it, and I'm too old for you. But... I have a brother that is five years younger than me. He's 24. I think you two would be super compatible. I want to take you home to meet him. Now he may ask you to lose weight also. I would suggest you do. Even if it takes you a few years to lose it all- It will change your life. People will start to respect you."

W.T.F. What? Who does that? I was so angry. I couldn't show it though.. I should have asked to be taken home right there and then, but I didn't want to start conflict, so I just went with it. We got back in the car and again he drove thirty miles an hour until we finally got to his house. When we walked in, he introduced me to His brother Lee, who I've kind of met before on facebook. Jack said, "Hey Lee, this is Chelsy. Why don't you show her the house?" Lee acted happy too, like this sort of thing happened all the time. He showed me around the whole house and he seemed genuinely happy to have me be there. We sat in the conference room and started talking. yes, they have a conference room in their house. Their house is HUGE. But there's basically nothing in it. Even their bedrooms are super plain. No one really decorates much. It's crazy. Anyway, we were in the conference room. Jack came in and said, "Hey, Lee. I'm going down stairs. Will you take her home?" Her has a name. It's Chelsy. We met earlier. You told me to lose weight? Try to remember to use my name at least. Good Gravy. Lee happily agreed. He drove me home, and even walked me to the door, and hugged me good night. I walked into the house and immediately started bawling. I couldn't believe he would take me out when he's already seeing someone, say something like that to me, and then pawn me off on his brother. I just felt like the cast offs. He didn't want me, so he offered me to the rest of his brothers like a side of french fries from McDonalds. Which I eat at. Which is apparently not okay.

My sister and I decided that if he asks me if I want to go out with Lee or any of his other brothers, I should be like, "Oh Thanks, but I'm actually busy. Eating bacon and cheese on top of ice cream. With maple syrup. and sprinkles. But the sprinkles are sugar free!"

Just a jerk move. But whatever. I'm over it. I'm sure he meant well. It was just completely lacking in tact and human concern for other people. Get this. On the way to his house, Jack asked me if I kept a journal. I said yes, thinking about this blog. He said, "well tonight will have quite the interesting entry." You have no idea just how interesting, Jack.