Nick

Here's a fun one. Nick. So as mentioned before, I learned that dating people from work was a BAD idea. This is the story that taught me not to let people from work set me up.


I was working box one slow day when the team member I was working with pulled out her phone and started texting.


"Phone away," I said not even bothering to look up from the computer desk. "At least try to hide it from me."


"Sorry I'm helping with a crisis." She said sliding her phone under the cash register. "Chelsy..." she said a moment later, "Are you dating anyone?" It had in fact been about a year since I'd been in any kind of relationship.


"Nope. I'm single as can be." I said fighting the urge to slam my face down on the desk. "Why do you ask?" other than to remind me of how pathetically alone I am.


"Well I have this friend- you know, the one I was texting? Well I think you guys would make a really great couple." Crisis! Crisis! Hearing that word should have made me wary of even talking to the guy. But as is the general theme, with guys I kind of have to mess up in order to learn anything. So pretty much from the second she told me he was Mormon and single, I was hearing wedding bells. I even waved off the fact that he was divorced as of a week before, had a three year old son, and was seven years older than me.


Being the hypocrite that I am, I pulled out my phone and began texting him. He was a little weird, but I figured that was forgivable because he had been married for the past five years and was new to the whole dating thing. Plus I knew that the moment I met him, I would fall head over heels for him.


and then he showed me a picture of his son. I don't usually like kids. They drive me crazy. I know I'll like my own since they'll be mine blah blah blah, but when it comes to loving someone else’s kids, It's usually pretty hard for me to do. But I fell in LOVE with this kid. He was seriously the cutest little blonde hair blue eyed kid I had ever seen. I knew I was in BIG trouble now.


I continued to text him. The next day he asked me on a date. We agreed on Monday night since we both had the day off. "Great!," he said. "I don't know if I'll be able to get a sitter, though. Would it be okay if I brought my son?" Another warning sign. The lights are flashing, the alarms are going off. Still I ignore them. I adore his son, remember?


"Please bring him! I can't wait to meet him!" Stupid Chelsy. Stupid.


"Perfect. We can call it family night! We can take Tanner to see Rio, then go out to dinner, then take Tanner to the temple. He loves the temple." More warning signs. He's calling our first date "family night" and wants to take me to the temple? At this rate I'll be married in a month!


As the days are going on I'm realizing more and more how weird this guy is. I'm still trying to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he just keeps getting weirder.


I didn't find out how truly weird he was, however, until A couple days before our "family night."


I was working concession, a busier part of the theatre when I got a call over the walkie asking me to go up to guest services. I replied that I was in the middle of something and would be up in ten minutes. About twenty minutes later I finally made my way up to the front. Once I got to the lobby, I stopped dead in my tracks. There sitting on a bench in front of me, was Nick.. I recognized him from the millions of pictures he had sent me over the past week or so. Let me just tell you, he was cuter in the pictures.


"Hey Nick!" I said, a confused look on my face. He got up quickly and tromped over to me flinging an arm around my shoulder.


"Hey Chels! I knew you were working tonight and I decided to come by after I got off. I texted you." Wha...?


"Oh that's really nice!" I said disentangling myself from his arm. "Sorry it took me so long to get up here, we're actually really busy- you see I don't get off for another hour and a half-" I was trying to get rid of him, but at this point he cut me off.


"Oh that's okay, I'll wait." He'll wait... awesome. I was feeling so awkward and out of sorts. I had made up my mind that day that I didn't have feelings for him and that he was a weird guy but I was banking on the fact that I would never have to actually see him face to face. Once I meet someone in real life, like outside of texting and facebook, it becomes too personal for me to effectively let them down easy. Now I was being forced to hang around this guy and act like I like him, only to break his heart the next day. All of this was going through my head as I contemplated the best way to get him to leave.


"Oh you don't want to wait! It's going to take forever and you'll be so bored!"


"Oh I don't mind, I'll just watch you." That's not creepy or anything.


"Okay..." I said feeling dejected and freaked out at the same time.


I walked back to the concession stand and told my manager everything. Of course she cracked up and watched him watch me for the rest of the night. She would run to the back and give me updates on him while I tried to plan the best way to get away from him without having to talk to him. At this point my senior manager noticed I hadn't been in front bar for an extended amount of time, so he came to find me.


"Why aren't you up front?" He asked me in that you may or may not be in trouble kind of voice. I looked to Ms. Miller who explained the whole story to him.


A little side note about Mr. M- I tell him everything. He basically knows my whole history. He's been like a second father to me over the past couple years. When we were doing Summer hiring, there was this totally gorgeous totally professional looking African American gentleman who came in to apply. He had a degree in communications and boy was he a smooth talker. We conversed for a good twenty minutes before he shook my hand and departed leaving me with his application. As soon as Mr. M. came in, I showed him the application and explained that he HAD to hire him because I just knew that I was going to marry him and have beautiful mixed children. He told me that he was waaaay over qualified and would most likely not take the job or quit after orientation. I told him I didn't care and begged once more for him to hire Gabe. A true angel in my eyes.


I was shocked the next week to see that he had, in deed, hired Gabe. We joked that I could just go through the applications every week and select the guys I thought would make great eternal companions for myself and he would hire them. Gabe did quit right after orientation to pursue an internship, but that just goes to show you the kind of relationship Mr. M and I share.


Anyway, after Ms. Miller told him, he started into the whole warning me about guys like that and he wanted me to be safe and he told me "under no circumstances are you to go outside with him." and I agreed. This guy was crazy.


So after work, I walked slowly toward Nick. He rushed to meet me. He steered me away from all the people and started walking outside.


You’ve seen the cartoons where one character is being drug across the floors by another character and the one being drug leaves behind big, long, scratch marks in the carpet? That’s the only visual I can use to describe my feelings at that time.


We walked outside and he would have gone further, but I sat down on the bench right outside the front door where I was still in view of Mr. M. He talked to me for an hour about nothing in particular. I got the feeling that he was incredibly lonely. He was very nice and complimentary, but he was NOT for me. I was starting to feel trapped. We were going on an hour and a half and I kept trying to hint that I needed to leave, to no avail. He just kept chattering on. I was ready to start chewing my leg off, though I don’t think even that would have helped me in this situation.


I had purposely taken my radio outside with me, just in case I needed to call for help from this weirdo. I was so grateful I did when an hour and forty minutes into the one sided conversation, Mr. M called me.


“Chelsy?” relief flooded through me. I held down the black button and said,


“Go ahead.”


“Hey, I need a print screened if you’re interested.” I jumped at the opportunity to get away from Nick. Supervisors weren’t allowed to screen movies so I knew it was Mr. M trying to get me out of the situation I was in.


“Absolutely, sir. I’ll be right in.” I replied. Turning to Nick, I said, “I am so sorry. They work me to the bone here. But thanks for stopping by. I’ll talk to you later.” And after an awkward hug, I walked back inside.


I, of course, thanked my manager profusely for the save and drove home pretty set on telling the guy I wasn’t interested the next day.


I had everything I wanted to say prepared. He was a great guy, but I just wasn’t interested in a relationship blah blah blah. Before I could send him the text, however, he sent me this adorable picture of his son. I turned to mush. I knew I had to get rid of him though. So I retyped the text.


I said a lot of things. Some true, some not. I’m a bad person, get over it. Basically I told him that I had just gotten out of a super emotionally abusive relationship and I wasn’t ready for even friendship with guys. I felt really bad for saying that afterward, however, because he messaged me on facebook the next day:

o    Just In Case

Hey Chelsy,
I just thought you would like to know that I completely understand what you are going through. I didn't think that I would be able to text you what I was thinking but also felt that I needed to let you know. Everything that happens for a reason and I think that you and I needed to find one another and this is why, I know that you don't know a lot about me and definitely don't know much about my past relationship, but here is what I feel I should tell you: Before my wife divorced me she attacked me with a lot of verbal attacks as well as controlled me in a way that I was not allowed to see or really talk with my family. She filed a restraining order. As I went in to respond and defend my honor there were a number of posters, on each one a number of questions. As I read them I responded yes to almost every one of them. Then I read the bottom of each one and found that I had been in an abusive situation for more than four years. I am now trying to rebuild yet don't feel like I am ready. I have a terrible fear that I will find another "wonderful" woman who would be a wonderful mom and have the same situation that I have had for the past five years. I don't know that you want to talk to me about what you have gone through and would not ask you to, but if you ever need a freind with a listening ear, know that I am here. I feel that whether or not we would ever be anything more than just friends or not is beyond the point. You have helped me to open up and I know that everything happens for a reason. Know that god loves you and that no matter what; I will forever be your friend and brother. With love from your spirit brother and earthly friend,

Nicolas

See? He’s super nice and he’s been through a lot. But he was just so weird. I couldn’t handle it. He made me uncomfortable and I wanted out. So I replied:

Hey! I am so sorry that it's taken me this long to get back to you- I've been so super busy. But Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me about this. I appreciate it. I'm really so sorry for everything that you've had to go through. It's extremely unfortunate and I'm so sorry. but like you said, everything happens for a reason. You are a stronger and a better person because of it. and now you know what an abusive relationship looks like. That's what I'm grateful for. I know I'll never get into one again. Thank you for your invitation to talk. I'll keep that in mind. If you ever need anything just let me know and I would like to remain friends. I'm sorry that I freaked out a little bit, I'm just a little terrified of any kind of relationship right now. even if it is just friendly. I really hope you have a great night/day/whatever it is when you read this. :)

Chelsy

And he replied:

I as well will apologize for taking so long to get back to you. I have been working almost none stop and have things going before and after work. I did read your email the day you wrote, thanks to my smart phone but have not had the time to sit down and respond to you yet. I too am sorry for what you have experienced. It is something that I wish we could rid the world of. Abuse of any kind should not be tolerated, it just isn't Christ like. I do think that I will in time be a stronger person as will you, but that takes time. I appreciate your offer to help if I ever need anything and about the freaking out........no sweat. I think I have told you before, I am really laid back and easy going sometimes to a fault. Really no need to apologize. I can understand the whole relationship thing, and I am not worried about it. I understand as it is hard for me to have just friends because I am scared that I might fall back into an abusive relationship and I worry that every single person I talk to might turn into my ex......that includes both you and Brittney, even though I know we are just friends the What If always runs through my mind. I too would like to remain friends. I think that I should apologize to you, you see I have not had any friends for around three years. I was not allowed to, so when Brittney introduced the thought of you being there, my thoughts were to treat you like a long lost friend or like I would my sisters and I know that I come across as over bearing and too much and that is something I am working on. So please forgive me for that, I am learning it like everything else will probably take some time to figure out how everything is again. Alright need to go to work tutoring my student. It is our last night that we will have if he is going to pass. I hope that this finds you well and god speed.

He was just weird. I never did reply to this and I deleted him on facebook a few months ago. So I’m hoping he’s gone forever. I’m always hesitant to post these stories because I’m afraid that I’ll come off as rude or mean and sometimes I’m afraid that I’m sharing too much of their personal stuff. But that’s why I change their names so I figure it’s not a big deal. Anyway, That’s the story of Nick.