Gary

I think I’m just going to start picking and choosing the boys I tell you about rather than going chronologically. I figure I can give you the timeline and you’ll get it. Any way, here’s the story of Gary.

In high school, I had a bad problem with not following “the girl code”. We all know what I’m talking about. The code set in place to keep girls from ripping each other’s hair out. When you break the code, girls have permission to do what ever they want to you. They could do anything from ruining your reputation to actually ripping your hair out. Lucky for me, my friends weren’t very vindictive. I learned my lesson, though with guy number… what ever number we’re on now.

Gary and three other young bachelors lived around the street from where my dad’s house was. All four were exactly the kind of guy you wouldn’t want your teenage daughter to hang around. But as you’ve probably noticed, when I’m around the male gender, my brain goes to mush. All of my common sense just flies right out the window.

I first met these boys through none other than my good friend Deven. I got in more trouble with her than anyone else. One time, we drove way out to Chandler to go to a house party we thought would be “off the hook”. We got all kinds of dolled up, stole her dad’s car, and high tailed it out to Chandler. When we got there, we were sorely disappointed. There were literally a total of eight people there. When we walked in, we heard someone whisper, “White girls!” That’s how ghetto this party was. We finally decided to leave when there was a beer chugging competition and a very large, very hammered man passed out on the beer soaked rug.

I digress. So I met them through Deven. She would say she was spending the night at my house, then late that night we would sneak out and walk around the corner to their house. From then on it was a non stop party. They always had plenty of hookah and beer. Not that I ever tried any of it, but it was always there.

Deven and Gary began forming an attachment. They would stay up late into the night talking and texting, flirting and fighting. They fought more than any other couple I’ve ever been around.

 I was in theatre in high school. It was literally the most important thing in the world to me. I lived and breathed acting. I wanted to share my love for theatre with my friends, so I invited Deven who in turn invited Gary. They came and sat in the back cat calling whenever I walked on stage. They were exactly the people I hated. “Uncultured swine” as I once referred to them. But I forgave them since I thought they were cool. I’m a sheep, remember?

After the play, Deven wanted to hang out with him and I of course, agreed because I was beginning to develop feelings for Gary. I liked being around him even though I knew nothing could ever come from it.

I really wanted a boyfriend at this point. I was lonely and my life was sad and I wanted someone to share the burden of it with me. So naturally when Deven told me their friend Rudy, who had seen me once before at a gathering of some sort, was interested in me, I jumped at the opportunity to meet him and make him my boyfriend.

Rudy was NOT the person I remembered.

We met up at Rudy’s house to play games. Immediately Rudy went into the bathroom and pulled a small bag from behind the toilet tank.  Once Rudy left the bathroom, Deven pulled me in under the pretext that she had to pee and didn’t want to do it alone. “We need some alone time.” She said turning the tap on. “Let them have their boy time. I bet Rudy’s talking to Gary about how into you he is.” She sat on the sink with her legs crossed. I moved the many copies of play boy off the toilet seat and sat down.

 “What was in the bag Rudy had?” I asked innocently.

“Oh it’s just weed.” Deven said examining her finger nails. My heart plummeted. Weed? In the same house that I was in? I just knew I was going to get arrested. Or Die. Since they smoked illegal substances I knew they were probably killers as well. They were going to kill me and throw my body into the Salt River. I swallowed hard. Deven stuck her ear up to the door. “I think they’ve gone outside. Let’s go.” I got shakily to my feet and followed her out the sliding glass door to the patio.

What awaited me nearly made me faint. Rudy and Gary were sitting in two lawn chairs that formed a circle around a fire pit. They were smoking weed. As I sat down, Rudy offered me the joint. I froze. I was way too much of a good girl to smoke weed. I wanted them to still think I was cool, however so I simply declined and sat back and acted like it didn’t bother me that they were smoking so close to me. Gary moved from his place next to Deven and sat in the empty seat on the other side of me. Deven’s eyes flashed with envy.

“You don’t want to smoke?” He asked. I had serious butterflies at this point. But I was determined to hold to my standards.

“No, I’ve never been into that kind of thing. Plus I’m asthmatic.” He pulled a face. I internally face palmed. I couldn’t think of any better response than I’m asthmatic? Awesome. Gary didn’t seem to mind much though. He just leaned back in his chair and continued smoking his marijuana.

By this point I was starting to feel light headed. Light headed and cold. Gary noticed this and took his jacket off and wrapped it around my shoulders. Deven pretended not to notice and continued her conversation with Rudy. I put my arms through, grateful for the warmth. The boys had finally finished their joint with the help of Deven and Rudy’s small and now very high Chihuahua. We went back inside.

I sat on the floor. The room was spinning. I leaned up against the foot board. I turned to my left and noticed that Gary was sitting next to me. I started laughing. The noise that came out was not my laugh, however. It was oddly low and it seemed to hang in the air for a long time. This made me laugh even more. Gary was amused and laughed with me. I imagined that I saw a speech bubble with “hahahaha” written inside of it spewing out of his mouth in many different colors. I went cross eyed for a minute, then closed my eyes and peered at him again. He peered back and we started laughing once more.

Once the general hysteria was over, I looked down at the jacket I was wearing. Gary’s name was scrawled in the corner with curly writing like you might see at Disneyland. (He was a mechanic and apparently they embroidered their names on their work jackets.) I started laughing once more. Gary looked at me, confused. “Heeey. Heeeeeeey! Wassss so fnnny?” He asked, slurring his speech.

I rolled my head back over to him. “What’s my name?” I asked blinking up at him.

“Chesly, Chelsy.” He mumbled.

I shook my head.”mmmnope! Whas my naaame??” I asked smiling and holding in my giggles. He looked very confused so I leaned over and whispered in his ear, rather loudly I might add, “It’s Gary!” and I pointed at his name with a hand over my mouth to keep from busting up laughing.

He chortled loudly which attracted the attention of Rudy and Deven who were previously ignoring us. “What’s so funny?” Deven asked sitting down on the other side of me.

“What’s my name?” I asked her. Gary started laughing once more and answered,

“It’s GARY!” Deven gave me a quizzical look then stared into my eyes.

“Oh my gosh. Rudy. She totally has contact high.” She stated looking at my dilated pupils.

“Nah. That’s a myth.” Rudy stated pouting in the corner. He could see Gary and I liked each other. Deven was too high to care.

Eventually I started to come off my high and I was beginning to feel very sad. Sad and guilty. Gary and I snuck outside together while Deven and Rudy were getting everyone’s things together. He noticed that I looked upset. He wrapped his arms around me.

“I’m really sorry.” He purred resting his chin on my head. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I know you didn’t want to smoke and I totally respect that.” I shook my head.

“It wasn’t your fault. And it’s not like I actually smoked. I just… secondhand smoked.” We heard the door open. He kissed my forehead and released me before Deven saw our embrace.

 “You guys can stick around here for a while longer if you want.” Rudy stated hopefully. “You know… wait for your high to wear off.”

“I didn’t actually smoke, Rudy. I’m fine to drive.” I stated coldly. The look he gave me made me feel bad so I hugged him and said, “Thanks for hanging out. It was fun.” Then I climbed into the driver’s seat and started the car. Deven pulled Gary into the back seat with her.

“Hold me. I’m cold.” Deven stated glaring at me in the rearview mirror. A couple minutes later my phone vibrated. Gary had sent me a text that simply read, “sorry.” I glanced at him in the mirror. He was looking back at me while holding Deven in his arms. I would have given anything to be with him right then. But instead I just watched him with my best friend, my heart breaking into a million different pieces.

Deven was angry with me that night. She didn’t speak to me until we were tucked away in her tiny bed. “Can you just hold me?” She asked. I can’t explain the dynamics of our friendship. I was like a mom to her and pretty much all our other friends. I was there to comfort her when she needed it. And now was that time. Unfortunately, I was the person who had hurt her this time. I felt really bad. I went to sleep feeling, if possible, even more guilty.

The next morning, however, I awoke feeling justified. I had never had a boyfriend and Deven had had plenty. It was her turn to take one for the team and allow me a little happiness. So I snuck over to Gary’s house every chance I got. We would sit together, him laying in my lap, me running my fingers through his gorgeous hair, and talk about his day. He would hold me and talk about his past and how hard growing up was for him. It was like having a best friend. We never kissed. The one time we got close, I backed away.

“I need to know what’s going on between you and Deven before I get any more emotionally involved in… in whatever it is we have going on here.” He tried to assure me that there was nothing going on and that he had practically forgotten about her. I told him that she still thought they had something and that he needed to end things with her for good if he wanted anything to progress with us. So I was kind of  loyal… Yeah. Terrible friend. I know. Moving on.

He agreed. He texted her and asked her to come over to talk. I left his house and went home to wait for him to text me to tell me how it went. About an hour later, he called. I could barely understand him through his tears.

“She kissed me, Chelsy. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do. She kissed me and then left, but I feel like I’ve cheated on you. I’m so sorry. Please come over. I need you.”

I was slightly baffled. I didn’t care if she kissed him, really. We weren’t a couple. And that phrase, I need you made my heart race. Finally someone needed me. I told him I’d be right over. When I walked out the door, however, I saw Deven’s car. I walked to it and opened the door.

“I just came to see if you were okay.” She stated matter-of-factly as I opened the door.

“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked thinking that it should be the other way around.

“Well Gary just admitted that he loves me and wants to be with only me and I thought you guys must have talked or something. Though we all know it would end up like this eventually.” I stared at her perplexed.

“Gary just called me sobbing because he said you flung yourself at him and kissed him.” Deven gave me that, oh no he didn’t face and said,

“He kissed me.” My heart, again, felt as if it had somersaulted off of a big giant cliff and landed amoung thorns, sharp rocks, and old rusty nails. Now I was starting to get ngry.

Once we had talked out both sides of the story, we realized that Gary had been two timing us. He had been using Deven for all of the physical aspects of a typical relationship and had been using me for all the emotional baggage. Hurt, and slightly flattered, I developed a plan to get Gary back.

“Deven. Gary is expecting me to come over to his house any minute. I’m going to go in there and start bawling and talk about how happy I am and that I’m sorry but I can’t say why. Then you’re going to come over and tell him that we are lesbians.” We both decided I was brilliant and the plan commenced. It unraveled better than we could have hoped.

When I came over he was confused and worried. Thanks to my acting background, I was able to produce tears of happiness. I was very convincing. Deven followed through with her part as well. My favorite line from that conversation being, “Well can’t we all just be together?” Awesome.

Of course he later found out that we were lying. He and Deven did eventually get back together briefly. They fought constantly. It ended in heart ache on both ends.

I did genuinely like Gary. But I realize now that what relationship we would have had would have been all wrong. He was all about him. And he knew exactly how to manipulate me. That phrase I need you has haunted me through several past relationships. Once I heard those three words, I was a goner. But life is about learning. And I’m definitely learning. I’m really glad I’ve gone through all of these experiences because how would I have learned if I hadn’t? Any way. That’s Gary for you.